What Does The Saturday Night Live Say?

Parody of What Does The Fox Say:

Trailer - Wes Anderson's "The Midnight Coterie of Sinister Intruders"

Wes Anderson's "The Midnight Coterie of Sinister Intruders". Trailer narrated by Alec Baldwin:

That Charity May Not Be The Right Type Of Charity

James Altucher being provocative as usual...

“Ten Reasons Why I Would Never Donate to a Major Charity…”

I’m not endorsing this conclusion but he makes some useful points:

I’m not saying don’t give. I’m not saying don’t be spiritual or don’t be good. But do it with thoughtfulness, with true spirit, with a true desire to help. More harm than good is done when you blindly throw money at most charities.

3) I don’t like paying administrative overhead. For every $1 someone donates to the American Cancer Society, 9.8 cents goes to administrative costs.

4) I don’t like paying marketing costs. I didn’t realize this until I looked it up. But for every dollar I give to the American Cancer Society, 21.8 cents goes toward furthering their marketing efforts.

His primary recommendation:

1) Be a Microcharity… Specifically, pick up the local paper and see who needs help right now, where a small amount of money can immediately make a significant difference in someone’s life.
In other words, be directly, personally involved with your cause. Then you know how the dollars are being used, you know face to face who is being helped, you feel good, you solve an immediate problem, you save a life.

Something to think about at least.

...You're Welcome

Google Fully Valued?

Aswath Damodaran points out that the Online Advertising sector may as whole be overvalued. If you trust his projections then the question becomes "which companies are the source of the overvaluation?".

I'm not sure who the culprits are (if any), but note that $GOOG has the highest market cap on the list: projected to have about half the future revenue ($147 B out of $303 B projected/imputed for 2023).

Hard to judge price momentum, but $GOOG could be fully valued here on a valuation basis. Time to consider taking some profits.

Incremental Symphony #Video

It's a nice concept:

via Angelica.

...You.re Welcome

Top/Bottom Duke Players From Win Over Kentucky

Strong opening performance from Duke basketball vs. #3 Kentucky. Here is my breakdown of Duke players' performances with the full season in mind:

3 Who Looked Good:

Mason Plumlee - Showed signs of dominance. Very forceful in calling for the ball. This bodes well for a Coach K system that often has trouble generating post up opportunities for big men. 7 for 8 from the floor and 4 for 4 on Free Throws is a great sign (especially for a guy who shot 53% on FT's last year). He got into foul trouble but played under control for the most part. 5 fouls and 5 turnovers are not good stats, but these are things he should be able to get under control as the season progresses.

Rasheed Sulaimon - Early in the season you want to see your freshmen flash upside (because mistakes can be corrected). Sulaimon showed unusual quickness and assertiveness for a freshman, as well as a nose for creating opportunities off the dribble. By March he could very well be the guy that Duke counts on offensively to run their offense through and create off the dribble. He is not as polished a scorer as Austin Rivers when he came in last year, but Sulaimon showed that he could provide a similarly vital offensive piece but with a more unselfish and team friendly style.

Seth Curry - Showed an improved ability to create off the dribble. Still not a prototypical slasher, but he demonstrated that he can score by more than just knocking down open shots, which also bodes well for Duke's chances in March.

3 Who Looked Bad:

Quinn Cook  - I was hoping to see a guy that Duke could run their offense through. Instead he looked uninspired offensively. Maybe he ramps up midseason, but as of now he has stepped back. This leaves Sulaimon as my main hope for an offensive threat off the dribble to run Duke's offense through.

Amile Jefferson - Looked tentative. Mistakes can be corrected for the freshman but he didn't demonstrate much as far as upside. Hopefully he shows more in future action.

Alex Murphy - Apparently he hasn't practiced well enough to earn more than 2 minutes of playing time. And he was lackluster during those 2 minutes. I was hoping for more from a guy who earned the start in exhibition games both this year and last year.

3 Who Looked Ok:

Ryan Kelly  - Good confidence as you'd hope for from a senior. Didn't show much in regards to new skills in his repertoire this year.

Josh Hairston - Strong game from a guy with a limited skill set.

Tyler Thornton - Solid but I was hoping that he would follow a similar career trajectory to Wojo. Did not show much of a jump in the first game compared to his performance from last year.

Overall:
The guys they needed to look good looked really good vs. Kentucky (Plumlee, Curry, Sulaimon/Cook). Their Top 10 ranking is not purely due to Duke's track record since there is big upside for Duke basketball this year.

Jamie Dimon Profile

"Jamie Dimon on the Line"

Warren Buffett, who owns shares in JPMorgan, says that when Berkshire Hathaway bought the railroad Bur­lington Northern for $26 billion, in the fall of 2009, he called up Dimon on the Tuesday morning just prior to the public announcement of the deal and said, “Jamie, I need $8 billion!” “You got it,” Buffett says Dimon told him. “Even with some of the other big banks, that’s not something you could do on the phone,” Buffett adds.

… “Most corporate leaders hide and never say anything that they believe in,” says Warren Buffett. “Jamie certainly hasn’t put his views in a blind trust. I think he knows as much about banking as anyone in the country, and he ought to talk about it. It would be a terrible thing for him not to voice his views.”

Very lengthy [but also good] Vanity Fair profile of Jamie Dimon, one of my favorite CEO’s and speakers [head of JPMorgan]

"From $0 To $1 Billion In Two Quarters – Facebook's Mobile Ad Business Is Suddenly Huge"

75% of $4 million is $3 million. $3 million per day over 365 days is…$1.1 billion.

Good explanation for part of the reason why I’m confident in Facebook’s long term revenue growth. For example, mobile revenue has grown from $1 million per day at the end of Q2 to $3 million per day at the end of Q3.

Really enjoying The Bedwetter "autobiography" read on CD by Sarah Silverman.



Funny stuff.

One Hell Of A Tale

Truly amazing plane crash story

Why do some smart people lack common sense?

Because smart people can overthink things:

Intelligent people, however, have a tendency to overapply their analytical and logical reasoning abilities ...and, as a result, get things wrong. In other words, ...intelligent people lack common sense because their general intelligence overrides it.

Even more interesting is that IQ improves your side of the argument, but not your understanding of the other side:

...high IQ improves people’s ability to defend their own position but doesn’t have any effect on ability to better understand the other side’s position. So smart people are better at arguing their own views but they’re not necessarily better at understanding where others are coming from.

I guess it's good to be loved

Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to? If your answer is yes, you will likely live longer than someone whose answer is no.

Determination: The Key Ingredient To Developing Expertise

With the same amount of practice, the long-term-commitment group outperformed the short-term-commitment group by 400 percent.

Reinforces my belief that determination is the key ingredient to success.

Building Rituals Into Your Schedule

I’m going to put reminders on my work calendar to try to make these sort of “reset” breaks automatic:

The key to success is building rituals — highly specific practices that you commit to doing at precise times, so that over time they become automatic, and no longer require much conscious intention or energy.

… 2. As your final activity before leaving work in the evening, set aside sufficient time — at least 15 to 20 minutes — to take stock of what's happened that day. and to decide the most important tasks you want to accomplish the next day.

…4. Take at least one scheduled break in the morning, one in the afternoon, and leave your desk for lunch. These are each important opportunities to renew yourself so that your energy doesn't run down as the day wears on. They're also opportunities to briefly take stock.

...You're Welcome.

Top 5 Middle Names

Top 5 middle names to name your kids. I will use the mysterious pseudonym "Drew" on the off chance that it reduces the google search results correlation between my actual name and this post. Enjoy:

5) Drew "and/or" Stepner

Bob: What's your name?
Me: You can call me "Andrew and/or Stepner"
Bob: Cool.

4) Drew "I don't have one" Stepner

Bob: What's your middle name?
Me: "I don't have one".
Bob: I'm being serious, what's your middle name?
Me: No, I'm being serious, "I don't have one"!
Bob: Go f*ck yourself!

3) Drew "Go f*ck yourself!" Stepner

Speaking of "Go f*ck yourself!", it actually makes a great middle name in and of itself:

Bob: Hey idiot, tell me your middle name.
Me: My middle name is "Go f*ck yourself!"

 See, it has a ring to it.

2) Drew "Hide The Mistletoe" Stepner

[Self explanatory]

1) Drew "Underscore" Stepner

To confuse people when they ask for my email address.

Bob: What's your full name?
Me: Drew "Underscore" Stepner
Bob: Seriously, go f*ck yourself.
Me: Actually, I'd prefer that you call me by my first name

...You're Welcome

Idiots Buy Reese's Miniatures

Who are these idiots who buy the miniature reese’s peanut butter cups?!?!?!

It's inconvenient enough that I have to unwrap 6 regular reese’s peanut butter cups whenever I want a snack, but to make me have to open the equivalent of a dozen miniature KID SIZED pb cups, now that is the peak of ultimate annoyance.

Who has the patience to unwrap 12 candies that are marketed to midgets?!? I mean, the “regular” sized ones are small enough as it is!

How is this not super annoying to everyone?

Who would want to unwrap TWELVE WRAPPERS!?!

Talk about tedious!

Do you people get some sort of sick and twisted joy from unwrapping candies appropriately sized for 4 year olds?

What is the deal?!!?

Dear Reese’s,

How about issuing a recall on all the miniature ones and while you’re at it come out with a real man’s sized peanut butter cup so I don’t need to unwrap 6 of em in a damn sitting. Thanks in advance.

Sincerely...annoyed,
Andrew.

Also, ...You're Welcome.

Latest "Between Two Ferns" Video

Zach Galifianakis is pretty funny...

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Tila Tequila from Between Two Ferns

...You're Welcome

Safeway Birthday Gift Registry

For my birthday I have registered at Safeway [the supermarket]. If you get me something then you are welcome to attend my Birthday Extravaganza (http://www.facebook.com/events/create.php?eid=189843477709309)

Things from Safeway that I like which you can buy me for my Birthday:

-- Mint Ice Cream Sandwich bars

[must deliver promptly to prevent melting]

-- 12 Pack(s) of Cherry Coke Zero

-- Crispix

Roommate complained today that I have too much Crispix (2 and a half boxes!), so screw him buy me some more.

-- Skinny Cow Chocolate Fudge Ice Cream Cones

-- Dreyer's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ("Fun Flavors")

-- Celeste Microwavable Frozen Cheese Pizza

-- Gatorade [blue] or Powerade [yellow]

All sizes accepted 

--Bertolli

All varieties that contain 10 grams of fat or more

--Target Gift Cards

If you can't find them, I believe they are located at the end of the cookies isle (just past the soup)

 -- More items to be added...

Please say what you are getting me in the "Comments" section below to ensure against duplicates.

...You're Welcome.

Christmas Cabbie

It's not every night when the cab driver wants to shake your hand before you exit the vehicle...

Clearly non Christmas celebrating Cab Driver: How is your Christmas going?
Me: Not good. I got bupkis from Santa.
Clearly Middle Eastern Cabbie: What’s bubkis?
Me: Its Yiddish for “nothing”.
Clearly ESL Cabbie: Maybe Santa doesn’t speak Yiddish.
Me: I think you are missing my point.

Cabbie: So what was all that noise when I picked you up?
Me: Oh that was the neighbors kids.
Cabbie: Its 1:45am!
Me: I know! These kids must have gotten into the secret stash of Four Loko cuz they are bouncing off the walls in the backyard.
Cabbie: Backyards don't have walls, they have fences.
Me: Thank you for pointing out my oversight.

Cabbie: What are they doing over there?
Me: They are running around in a big circle and screaming.
Cabbie: Why?
Me: I think they are trying to flag down Santa.
Cabbie: Does that work?
Me: I dunno, but they looked like a bunch of starved castaways...on a desert island...trying to flag down a passing plane...like their life depended on it; so yeah I think they’ve actually got a shot at it.

Cabbie: I don't believe that Santa Claus is actually real.
Me: What gave it away?
Cabbie: I realized a year or two ago that it's just very unrealistic. Having thought about it, I think it is pretty obvious that Santa isn’t real.
Me: You might be on to something.

Cabbie: Did you know that Santa’s not even in the bible?
Me: That’s cool that you skimmed through the bible looking for references to Santa. Way to do your research.
Cabbie: I’m Islamic…
Me: [Feigning surprise…]
Cabbie: You want to know the much more realistic story that we teach our kids?
Me: [Feigning interest…]
Cabbie: [Proceeds to give me a surprisingly thorough and unsurprisingly passionate 30 second rendition of the story of Abraham's Sacrifice.]
Me: [After hearing about how the angel flew down from heaven with a sheep…] At least you are not lying to your kids about some crazy made up story like this whole Santa thing. Your hoax is much more reasonable.
Cabbie: [Proudly offers his hand in the hopes that I will shake it.]
Me: [I oblige.]
Cabbie: Have a great night!
Me: Merry Christmas!

Cabbie: Thank you!

Me: ...You're Welcome

Kyle Singler vs. Kyle Singler in H.o.r.s.e

Duke basketball's regular season starts tomorrow.

Here's a cool video of Kyle Singler making shots from literally everywhere.

And a decent New York Times article on him too.


...You're Welcome